How to Become a Better Question-Asker: 3 Quick Ideas.

SeanMcDowell.org

Do you want to make a lasting impact in the lives of other people? What is the best strategy to do this? It's simple. Ask questions.

That's what Jesus did. The Gospels and Acts record Jesus asking 340 questions. There are 262 questions in the letters of Paul. The God who made us uses questions to interact with us. Shouldn't we do the same with others?

I have become more convinced than ever that questions are almost always better than answers. If you want to genuinely influence people, and develop meaningful relationships, learn how to ask good questions.

As a parent, I try to ask my kids questions that allow me to enter their worlds. As a professor, I ask my students tons of questions to get them to think. And as a husband, I ask my wife questions to deepen our relationship and also to understand what she’s thinking and feeling.

Here are three quick tips on learning to be a better question-asker:

1. Observe People Who are Good Question-Askers. I like to observe people who ask good questions. For instance, whether you agree with his worldview or not, Jordan Peterson asks interesting questions when he interviews guests. Although he makes it seem natural and intuitive, it’s clear he has given considerable thought beforehand to the kinds of questions he asks his guests.

Who do you know of that asks interesting questions? A radio host? Teacher? Speaker? Friend? Have you given much thought to how they come up with good questions? Here's an idea: Ask! If you know someone who asks good questions, then ask their secret.

2. Remember Good Questions. If you come across a good question, remember it, and use it again. Here are a few questions I enjoy asking people:

• If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be, and why?
• What is your best memory from growing up?
• If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
• Who are the people that have influenced you the most, and what was it that made them so influential?

3. Be Curious. Perhaps the best way to become a better question asker is simply to be genuinely curious. I once asked Frank Pastore, the late radio show host and professional baseball player, how he came up with questions for his show. He simply asks the kinds of questions that he’s curious about. He was a naturally curious person who wanted to understand the world. He asked questions that intrigued him, and as a result, they intrigued his audience, and his radio show was wildly popular. If you want to be a good question-asker, then become a genuinely curious person.

So, what do you think? What have I missed? If you have any other ideas about how to become a better question-asker, I would love to hear!

If you are looking for a helpful guide and how to better engage others, please check out my recent book: End the Stalemate: Move Past Cancel Culture to Meaningful Conversations.