Cordial Disagreement is the Highest Honor
We live in a time when impatience, personal attacks, and shallow criticism characterize much of the cultural dialogue. I can hardly ever post anything online without receiving personal criticism from someone to my left or my right. And many times, the person hasn't even taken the time to understand my position!
In this post, I simply want to remind us of the truth that cordial disagreement is not a vice, but is rather a high form of honor for someone with a different worldview. After all, if I ignore an idea, I don’t even think it worthy of consideration and response. I don’t consider it valuable enough for my time or energy.
Some may even think it is a dismissal of the person behind the argument as well. But if I disagree with an idea, take the time to formulate a thoughtful response, and do so graciously, don’t I proclaim honor to the person and respect for truth?
Honoring Others with Disagreement
I was recently reading Do Historical Matters Matter to Faith?, which consists of twenty-two scholarly articles written in response to the publication of Kenton Sparks’s work God’s Word in Human Words. The author of each article responds to at least one of the challenges Sparks has raised about the reliability of the biblical narrative.
In the foreword, John Woodbridge writes, “The authors of Do Historical Matters Matter to Faith? address in a straightforward manner the challenges Sparks offers to the trustworthiness of the Bible’s historical narratives. They honor Sparks’s scholarship by taking his proposal seriously.”
Did you catch that? Rather than considering disagreement disrespectful (or hateful), the writers believe they are actually honoring him by taking his ideas seriously and offering thoughtful responses, and yet doing so with generosity. Whether they succeed or not is beside the point. The point is that they show honor to Sparks by cordially engaging his ideas. After all, ideas do have consequences.
When I read this I thought—yes, yes, YES! This is exactly what we need today—people willing to seriously wrestle with important issues of our day because they realize that ideas matter and that cordial disagreement shows honor to those with different viewpoints.
If I were Sparks, I would be honored that so many people thought my ideas were worthy of their time, focus, and energy. I wouldn’t be upset. I would be thrilled. That’s why I love it when people offer me thoughtful responses to my ideas. If I were wrong, shouldn’t I want to change my views and seek the truth? Shouldn’t you?
Why Disagreement Matters
How can we ever arrive at truth without thoughtful pushback by people who see the world differently? The sad reality, though, is that many people lack civility and thoughtfulness in their response to people who hold different views. What a shame! How can we have genuine conversation in our pluralistic world, and value truth seeking, if people are so quick to take affront?
Here’s the bottom line: We simply cannot thrive as a democratic society when people take personal affront to disagreement. Rather than seeing disagreement as insult, we ought to realize that gracious, thoughtful disagreement is the highest form of honor.
Please let me know if you think I am wrong about this. I would be honored. If you are looking for a guide on how to meaningfully engage others, please check out my recent book: End the Stalemate: Move Past Cancel Culture to Meaningful Conversations
